Relationship Healing

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We are hard wired to attach through relationships, attachment with others is innate. The main reason that people seek therapy are problems with relationships. Such problems might arise at home, at work, or they might appear as a general feeling of not fitting in. Relationships are all around us, relationship with others not only intimately. Relationship issues affect children as well as adults.


We are created to be relational. Relationships are everywhere, we are interactive and relational with people we meet on the street, coworkers, family, romantic, and with our self. The process of learning how to be relational begins during fetal development, and continues throughout our entire life. As we progress from one phase to the next we build upon lessons learned, by actively bringing them into the next phase. Healthy relationships learned during infancy and throughout each phase of our life, will continue as long as our self-worth is also healthy and intact. Unhealthy relationships characteristically result in a lowering of our self-worth. For a variety of reasons, we are exposed to a range of relationships, both healthy and unhealthy. The state of our self-worth will have much to do with our choice to be involved in those relationships.  Whether infidelity is involved or not, couples counseling is important to begin the process of relationship healing! Narcissistic abuse recovery is possible.


Domestic Abuse  Men as well as Women victims. Including Same Sex Couples.
 Cheryl L Wheeler, MA

Domestic Abuse


Abuse can be physical, mental, and emotional. Violence against anyone in any form is a crime, whether the abuser is a family member; someone you date; a current or past spouse, boyfriend, or girlfriend; an acquaintance; or a stranger. You are not at fault. You did not cause the abuse to occur. If you or someone you know has been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused, seek help.   Sometimes it is hard and confusing to admit that you are in an abusive relationship, or to find a way out. There are clear signs to help you know if you are being abused. If the person you love or live with does any of these things to you, it's time to get help:  

  • monitors what you're doing all the time 
  • criticizes you for little things 
  • constantly accuses you of being unfaithful 
  • prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or  family, or going to work or school 
  • gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs 
  • controls how you spend your money 
  • controls your use of needed medicines 
  • humiliates you in front of others 
  • destroys your property or things that you care about 
  • threatens to hurt you, the children, or pets, or does  hurt you (by hitting, beating, pushing, shoving, punching, slapping,  kicking, or biting) 
  • uses or threatens to use a weapon against you 
  • forces you to have sex against your will 
  • blames you for his or her violent outbursts 



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Infidelity

Infidelity refers to a fracture within a committed partnership, a partnership based on trust and mutuality. Any relationship outside of the committed partnership can be considered infidelity.... any investment of time, money, energy, etc. that is taken away from the committed partnership. 


Beyond the damage to the committed partnership, Infidelity may also involve implications of cultural, religious and legal aspects. Sexual infidelity is rarely about sex! Typically, what is sought after is something missing in their own life - a sense of self-worth, relational issues, self-identity, self-care, and an understanding of moderation. 


Other Types of Infidelity:

Financial Infidelity

Emotional Infidelity

More about infidelity
Malignant Self Love Narcissism Revisited, By Sam Vaknin
Cheryl L Wheeler, MA

Narcissist

 

Malignant Self Love Narcissism Revisited, By Sam Vaknin

 "People have a need to believe in the empathic skills and basic good-heartedness of others. By dehumanising and objectifying people – the narcissist attacks the very foundations of the social treaty. This is the "alien" aspect of narcissists – they may be excellent imitations of fully formed adults but they are emotionally non-existent, or, at best, immature.

This is so horrid, so repulsive, so phantasmagoric – that people recoil in terror. It is then, with their defences absolutely down, that they are the most susceptible and vulnerable to the narcissist's control. Physical, psychological, verbal and sexual abuse are all forms of dehumanisation and objectification.

What to do?

Never show your abuser that you are afraid of him. Do not negotiate with bullies. They are insatiable. Do not succumb to blackmail."



Divorce, Separation, Betrayal, Rejection, Co-parenting, Lifestyle Change.
Cheryl L Wheeler, MA

Relationship Dissolution

 

Offering a supportive environment for any stage of the relationship dissolution; separation, divorce, or transition. 

The end of a relationship is very often isolating and stigmatizing, and may affect virtually all aspects of one's life. Issues of betrayal and rejection, injured self-esteem, lack of closure, financial/lifestyle changes and co-parenting intensity the emotional process. Divorcing adults and their children need to be listened to, and need validation from someone who understands their experience. Individual, couple, and family sessions may all be supportive approaches during this very challenging life transition.



Improve and Heal Relationships

 It’s possible to evaluate your relationship to recognize areas for  improvement, as well as recognize areas of strength!   

 

Couples Relationship Coaching (60-90 min)

We are hard wired to attach through relationships, attachment with others is innate. The main reason that people seek sessions are related to  problems with relationships. Such problems might  arise at home, at work, or they might appear as a general feeling of  not fitting in. Relationships are all around us, relationship with  others not only intimately.   

Find out more

The Gottman Method

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Evaluate your Relationship

It’s possible to evaluate your relationship to recognize areas for  improvement, as well as recognize areas of strength! Contact me today to  learn more!  

Learn about the Relationship Checkup

 The *Relationship Checkup is comprised of 5 sections, each partner answers their own set of questions.

Family & Parenting

Family

The family unit if not working smoothly will affect the entire family dynamic. Families are comprised of many varieties, including blended families. The inner circle of immediate family quickly extends to  in-laws, grandparents and other extended family members.

As each family is different, sessions will be individualized for that families needs!

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Parenting

Because children don't come with an owners manual!


Our goal as parents is to raise emotionally healthy and well-adapted adults. Enhancing the quality of parent-child relationships, beginning with bonding through each developmental milestone provides learning tools that allow our parenting goals to flourish. Co-parenting does not end this responsibility, but keep is going in a new direction! 

Find out more